Learn To Love Yourself
by kingofthebirds-wren
Summary: Jake was not a bad seed, he just fell in with the wrong crowd. That was, before he fell hard, but with the wrong person. His whole life seemed to be made up of wrongs. After moving to Lima, joining Glee and making friends, Jake has fallen for his best friend. Au Jyder slash, with Wildehart romance, Jarley and Rydique friendships on the side.
1. Prologue

_**Learn to Love Yourself**_

_Au Jyder fanfic._

_Rated T: contains coarse language, violence, self-harm and sexual content._

_Jake was not a bad seed, he just fell in with the wrong crowd. That was, before he fell hard, but with the wrong person. Three months Later and Jake has moved to Lima. Now, Jake has fallen for his best friend, rather than the prettiest girl in school. Au Jyder slash, with Wildehart, Jarley and Rydique friendships on the side._

_I Own NOTHING, if i did, Glee would be a hell of a lot gayer than it already is..._

* * *

**Prologue**

* * *

Jake Puckerman stared out the window of his mother's van, and saw nothing but grass, fences and a few cows. He was leaving Chicago for this cow town? Really? He had never even heard of Lima Ohio. But he wanted nothing more than to move, away from that city, those people, and **him**. He hadn't even told his mother yet, but he was scared shitless. He was turning into someone he didn't even know, and it scared the shit out of him. Who he was becoming was not the person he thought he was, and he had no idea who the hell he was, but then he thought about the good times, and he remembered what it felt, to be struck to the bone for moments of breathless delight. Both impacted his relationships with his mother and his little sisters, Sierra and Kiara.

"Jake, promise me you will stay out of trouble. Promise me!" His mother asked, she sounded quite worried. Jake hated that his mother didn't trust him, but she had seen her son decend from the little boy she raised and turn into a complete stranger, and though she would never admot it, she only decided to move to save her family, Jake was her rock. she lost everything, her parents, her family, her scholarship, everything to raise the little boy, who was now much taller and stronger than she was. But Tanisha Adams was still in charge, and she would hold her family together even if it meant leaving behind everything they had ever known. She knew one thing for certain, Jake had changed and she did not like it.

"Mom, I promise, nothing will happen." Jake promised his mom, but he wasn't so sure. He knew his mother's heart will break if he ever tells her the truth.

* * *

_This is my first real Fan Fiction. Please comment and review._


	2. Chapter 1: Someone Like You

**Chapter 1: Someone Like You...**

* * *

_Sorry about the long wait._

* * *

"Jake, sweety. It's time to wake up. Jake? JAKE!" his mother screamed from the kitchen of their new apartment. It was boring here. They lived in this apartment that was just big enough for the four of them.

"I'm up, there is no need to freaking shout." Jake said calmly as he opened his door.

"Mommy Jakey's up." His five-year old little sister Sierra said. His sisters were the only people he would let call him Jakey.

"You're going to be late, and you promised me..." His mom started to say, but Jake interrupted her.

"That I would stay out of trouble, yeah mom. I know." Jake said. He really did not want to lie to his mother, she had given up so much for him and his sisters. But trouble seemed to find him. He was running, without ever even telling anybody what he was running from. Hell he couldn't even tell himself the truth. It would crush his mother. If she really knew, so it's better to let her assume the worst, and not let her trust him.

"Alright, have fun. Oh, and can you watch the girls when you get home? I have a late night shift. Do not forget to lock the door when you get home..."

"Yes mom I will, I can watch them. And I will lock it." Jake said to her as he left to catch the bus to McKinley.

* * *

Jake is on the bus when a girl walks on, she is thin and has beautiful Blue eyes.

"Hi, can I...I mean, is this, is this seat taken?" She asked shyly.

"No, go ahead. I'm Jake." he said back to her. She was gorgeous, he could see himself falling for her. But she was wearing some sort of Brand clothing. Of course she was rich.

"Marley, Rose." Marley replied back.

"Nice to meet you Marley, or is it Rose?" Jake asked.

"It's Marley. So do you have a last name Jake or is it just Jake?" she asked him.

"Just Jake." Jake replied, his last name was Puckerman, and his older brother graduated from McKinley last year. Jake had never once met him, but he knew that the last name Puckerman would be infamous in these parts.

"Okay, Just Jake, what grade are you in?"

"I'm a Sophomore. You?"

"Same, but I'm new here so maybe you could..."

"I just moved here from Chicago, so..."

"Oh okay, never mind then." Marley said, sounding disappointed, why couldn't Jake fall for a girl like her. He always fell for the wrong one. The bus pulled up at the school.

"What class do you have first?"

"English, why?"

"With Mrs. Burke?"

"Ya, same as you?"

"Yup." Marley said smiling. He liked her, but not in that way. He wished he did though. It would be a hell of a lot easier.

* * *

_A few Weeks Later_

Jake was walking to school when he saw him. He was beautiful.

"Jake, who are you...aah. That's Ryder, he is totally gorgeous but he is also a rich boy with daddy issues." Marley said behind him.

"Aren't they all?" Jake said sarcastically, seeing Blaine walk by as he said it.

"He's totally a nice though, and funny, and like I said: totally gorgeous and..." Marley gushed about him.

"Sounds to me like you have a crush on him. Ask him out." Jake urged her.

"He'd never go for someone like me. I'm poor, my mom is the lunch lady, my best friend is..." Marley said.

"Your best friend is what? Completely awsome, totally goodlooking. Surprisingly smart for a Puckerman?" Jake said. He had known it would be a long shot

"Yes, too bad he's..." As she said this, she pointed out that Ryder was dating the biggest bitch in the world, Kitty Wilde. And that is saying something.

Ryder walked by Jake and he swore he felt his heart skip a beat._ No, _Jake thought to himself: _Not this time, you swore you would never fall for a guy again. Especially not after..._ But this was different...Jake had never felt like this before. Ryder, he seemed like he would never hurt the person he loved, unlike Jason. But he was straight, and Jake was, well Jake. Jake saw Ryder do a double take as he walked by them, Jake smiled back at him.

"Jake? Are you okay? Come on, let's get to Glee, It'll be fun."

"Yeah, right let's go. I need to sing something." It was true, he needed to sing something to stop thinking about Ryder, whoever the hell he was. Jake hadn't even talked to him. At least Glee was away from Ryder whats-his-name.

* * *

"Alright, let me introduce the two newest members of New Directions, Ryder Lynn and Kitty Wilde." Mr. Schuester said introducing Kitty and the new kid who Blaine could tell Jake Puckerman was totally into the new guy but would never admit out loud.

Mr. Schue then went on to say that they were going to be having another duet competition, and this time, Mr. Schue made them choose a name out of the hat. Joe chose Kitty, Brittany chose Marley, Tina chose Artie, Sam chose Sugar, Ryder chose Unique and that left Blaine with Jake. This would be interesting.

* * *

At home, Blaine and Jake were looking for songs to sing for their duet, when Jake got a phone call from a random number he didn't know...

"Hello" Jake asked. He then heard it, a voice he never expected to hear again. One he hoped he never would hear again.

"_Hello Jake, I was wondering if we could talk. It won't take long...I called to tell you that I am happy, and I am with someone who is not ashamed to be with me. And you, you will always be that strange mixed race mutt who likes boys and is too scared to admit it, so he calls him self 'bisexual', as if it's a real thing. You are a coward Jacob Puckerman, always will be, always have been..."_ Jason hung up the phone. Jake didn't get it, why was Jason being a fucking asshole to him? Part of Jake was still in love with him, and that was the crazy part.

When Jake walked in the room, Blaine looked at the other boy, and saw he was clearly shaken. Blaine rushed over to see if he was okay, Jake just shoved him off. He then handed him a music sheet.

"I found a song." Jake simply said. Blaine looked at the song, _Someone Like You,_ by Adele.

"It's not really a duet and I'm..."

"Well, I'm singing it, Blaine. You're either in or you're out." Jake said to him.

"I'm in."

* * *

**_Meanwhile, back in Chicago._**

**_"_**_Are you sure? I thought you guys were close."_

_"Just do it. Tell his mother, everything. The drugs, the fights, everything." _

_"What about you?"_

_"Tell her about me. Out him, he is nothing to me."_

_"Fine, only if you're..."_

_"I am sure. And make it painless."_ Jason hung up before the other person could object.

"Jakey, so clueless, so caring. You're life is going to be a living hell. I will make sure of that..." Jason said, ripping up a picture of them together. Smiling, staring at a map, and then he drew a circle on one city: Lima, Ohio.

"You will pay for breaking up with me..." Jason said, forgetting that he had abused Jake for months, and had made Jake even more afraid of falling in love than he already was.

* * *

_Ya, so Jason is the fucked up crazy Antagonist, Wildehart seeds have been planted and Jarley Friendship. _

_Next Chapter may not be for a while, but expect: Blake interaction, Wildehart loving, Rydique friendship and Jyder. _


	3. Chapter 2: Slippin Through My Fingers

**Chapter 2: Slippin Through My Fingers**

* * *

_One thing, Wildehart, as of this chapter, is a main part of the story. Second only to Jyder, Wildehart is endgame. _

**bold_- is both_**

_italics - is Blaine, Kitty and Jake's mother_

Underlined- is Jake and Joe.

* * *

**Blaine: You sure you want to sing this song? **

**Jake: Ya, 100%.**

**Blaine: I like Someone Like You better...**

**Jake: We're doing Iris**

**Blaine: Ok, ok. chill.**

Jake had gone through his playlist, and for some reason, Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls was the song he wanted to sing.

**Blaine: Are you singing it to Marley or Ryder?**

Jake's eyes widened, how did he know? Jake just wanted to crawl in a hole.

**Jake: Don't tell anyone.**

* * *

It was a long day for Jake, he was scared to face Blaine. He was scared about a lot of things. How the fuck was he supposed to tell his mom he was into guys? What would Marley say? Why couldn't he get Ryder out of his head?

"Hey you, how is your song choice for Duets going?"

"We have a song."

"What is it?"

"Wait and see." Jake said, smiling. Marley looked at him while he was doing this. It was so obvious. She smiled to herself.

* * *

Jake was walking to his next class. He heard footsteps behind him.

"Hey, Jake wait up." He heard a voice from behind him, it was Blaine Anderson.

"Hey, you ready for today?" He said.

"Yeah, you?"

"It's nothing to be ashamed of you know? I'm gay." Blaine said.

"I know, and I'm not you."

"I know you're not. But if you ever need anything, I'm here. There's more to you than meets the eye. Jake Puckerman. And don't worry, I won't say a thing." Blaine said to him.

* * *

Jake was walking down the hall, and then he felt someone throw him against the locker.

"Watch it Glee Loser, or do you prefer Half Baked Oreo?" a random Jock sneered at him. Just because he was half-Black, half-Jewish, and... Well he didn't know what the hell call himself. But he had put himself through so much shit, and his family through so much shit, he really did not need this right now.

"Leave him alone." A voice said behind him. Jake turned around and was surprised to see Ryder Lynn. Jake didn't get it. Why was Ryder standing up for him? He had never even talked to the other boy.

"Whatever. Have fun on Halloween. Wait is that offensive, do you even celebrate Halloween?" The asshole jock said. Jake was about to charge at him when Ryder put his hands on him and blocked him, Jake looked down and felt some butterflies in his stomach. The random Jock walked away.

"Not worth it. Jake right?"

"Yeah" He said hesitantly.

"You alright?" Ryder asked, Jake was mesmerized by his brown eyes.

"Dude? Jake you okay?" Ryder asked again.

"Uh...sorry. Yeah, I'm fine. It's nothing I haven't heard before." Jake said back. He was so fucked.

"I'm gonna be a little late to Glee Club, I need to go as Mr. Dobson about the homework from last week." Ryder said, and then he smiled and turned away. Jake walked in the other direction, to Glee.

* * *

Mr. Schuester was talking about something, when Jake saw Ryder come in, he felt butterflies in his stomach. He was falling hard. Especially since the boy had stood up for him.

"Alright who wants to volunteer? Anyone?" He asked, hoping someone would volunteer to go first. After no one volunteered, he chose someone randomly.

"Kitty Wilde. Would you and your Partner be kind enough to sing for us."

Kitty rolled her eyes and then grabbed Joe by his hand and went to the front of the choir room and turned to face the rest of the glee clubbers.

"I chose a song that I know I can do perfectly and Avatar over here is just going to sing when I tell him too."

"I just agreed to sing the song because I love the message in this song." Joe piped up.

"Nobody asked you." Kitty snapped back.

She cued to Brad, the piano player and he and the rest of the Jazz band started playing a song that reminded him a lot of his best friend, Callie, back in Chicago. She died in a car crash three weeks before Jake and his family moved to Lima. Jake just felt, he just felt numb.

**Kitty:**

_She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati_  
_On a snow- white Christmas Eve_  
_Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat_  
_Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline_  
_It'd been a long hard year_  
_She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention_  
_she was going way too fast_  
_Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass_  
_She saw both their lives flash before her eyes_  
_She didn't even have time to cry_  
_She was so scared_  
_She threw her hands up in the air_

**Kitty and Joe:**

**Jesus take the wheel**  
**Take it from my hands**  
**Cause I can't do this on my own**  
**I'm letting go**  
**So give me one more chance**  
**To save me from this road I'm on**  
**Jesus take the wheel**

Joe:

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder  
And the car came to a stop  
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock  
And for the first time in a long time  
She bowed her head to pray  
She said I'm sorry for the way  
I've been living my life  
I know I've got to change  
So from now on tonight

**Kitty and Joe:**

**Jesus take the wheel**  
**Take it from my hands**  
**Cause I can't do this on my own**  
**I'm letting go**  
**So give me one more chance**  
**To save me from this road I'm on**  
**Jesus take the wheel**

_Oh I'm letting go_  
_So give me one more chance_  
_Save me from this road I'm on_  
_From this road I'm on_  
_Jesus take the wheel_

When they were finished, everyone couldn't help but clap, everyone but Jake. He remembered that day, the one that Callie died. He remembered feeling broken, and lost.

* * *

***FLASHBACK***

_"Jake I'll be fine. I'll call you when I get there." She was on her way to her grandparents house, with her little brother. _

_"Please just call me when you get there." Jake said, it was treacherous outside. It had been pouring rain by the buckets all day and he knew the roads were gonna be slippery. _

_"Your such a worrier. Jake, like I said before I'll be..." she said, just than he heard the sound of shattered glass and crumpling metal and fiberglass. _

_"Hello? Hello? Cal! Callie?" Jake screamed over the phone..._

***END OF FLASHBACK***

* * *

_"_Jake, Jake? You alright?" Blaine asked, everyone was staring at him.

"Yeah. Yeah of course I'm fine Blaine." Jake said as he closed his eyes . He was anything but fine. He had seen shit and been through shit no 16 year old boy should go through. Like losing his only real friend, and...

" You still good to perform? We can always tell Mr. Schue that..." Blaine said to Jake, reassuringly. But Jake was determined to do this.

"I said I'm fine, Blaine." Jake snapped at Blaine.

"Okay, whatever you say." Blaine said raising his hand up in surrender. The guitarist started the chords to _Iris._

_Blaine:_

_And I'd give up forever to touch you_  
_'Cause I know that you feel me somehow_  
_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be_  
_And I don't want to go home right now_

Jake:

And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
When sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight

**Jake and Blaine**

**And I don't want the world to see me**  
**'Cause I don't think that they'd understand**  
**When everything's made to be broken**  
**I just want you to know who I am**

Jake

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything feels like the movies  
Yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive

As Jake sang these words, he kept looking at Ryder. Ryder looked back at him and Jake looked back at Blaine who was about to start the chorus. Kitty was glaring daggers at him. Ryder on the other hand, looked at him with a look in his eyes. Unique saw this, as did Marley.

**Jake and Blaine:**

**And I don't want the world to see me**  
**'Cause I don't think that they'd understand**  
**When everything's made to be broken**  
**I just want you to know who I am**

**And I don't want the world to see me**  
**'Cause I don't think that they'd understand**  
**When everything's made to be broken**  
**I just want you to know who I am**

The Bell rang, the band, the glee club all left. Jake was left alone, on the last line, he felt like he was about to cry.

Jake:

And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am

As he left, he wiped a tear from his eye. He didn't even realise that Marley had been waiting for him outside. She had seen the way he looked at Ryder. Marley had even caught Ryder look of awe on his face when Jake was staring at him, like she thought before, it was totally obvious.

* * *

Tanesha Adams knew something was bothering her little boy. As much as he hated hearing her say that, it was true. He was his little boy. She heard the door open of their smallish apartment, and then she heard it close.

"Jake? Sweetie is everything alright?" She asked him.

"Huh? Yeah, it's fine. I'm fine. I swear. Everythings fine mom." Jake said. But Tanesha knew her son. Something was bothering him.

"Jakey, Mommy! I lost a tooth. Look!" his little sister, Kiara, who was 5, showed her mother her tooth in her hand. Kiara was beaming.

Jake saw his mother smile proudly at her youngest child.

"Wow, Jake; could you go get some ice cream? We need a celebration. Kiki here has just lost her first tooth!" She said to her son.

"Which kind do you want?" she said to her little girl.

"Chocolate!" Kiara shouted with that big toothless grin. Tanesha was smiling sadly. Her kids were growing up, Jake was in High School. Kiara and Sierra were starting Kindergarten. Kiara went to go tell her sister and Jake went to get some ice cream. She grabbed a picture of Kiara and Sierra about to start their first day of Kindergarten.

_Tanesha:_

_Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning_  
_Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile_  
_I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness_  
_And I have to sit down for a while_

She then grabbed a picture of Jake. It was from when he was nine, and just got his first goal.

_The feeling that I'm losing her forever_  
_And without really entering her world_  
_I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter_  
_That funny little girl_

_Slipping through my fingers all the time_  
_I try to capture every minute_  
_The feeling in it_  
_Slipping through my fingers all the time_  
_Do I really see what's in her mind_  
_Each time I think I'm close to knowing_  
_She keeps on growing_  
_Slipping through my fingers all the time_

She heard the door close shut. She saw Jake with a carton of ice cream and some sprinkles. She smiled, her song still playing in her head.

_Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table_  
_Barely awake, I let precious time go by_  
_Then when [he's] gone there's that odd melancholy feeling_  
_And a sense of guilt I can't deny_  
_What happened to the wonderful adventures_  
_The places I had planned for us to go_  
_(slipping through my fingers all the time)_  
_Well, some of that we did but most we didn't_  
_And why I just don't know_

_Slipping through my fingers all the time_  
_I try to capture every minute_  
_The feeling in it_  
_Slipping through my fingers all the time_  
_Do I really see what's in her mind_  
_Each time I think I'm close to knowing_  
_She keeps on growing_  
_Slipping through my fingers all the time_

"Mom, you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine sweetie. I'm just...huh, I'm just sad because my kids are growing up and I feel like they are slipping through my fingers."

"I'll always be your little boy mom." Jake said. She could see he was hiding something from her.

"I know." Then, as if he knew what she was thinking, he started singing the same song she was. Grabbing the same picture of his little sisters that his mother was holding.

**Jake and Tanesha**

**Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture**  
**And save it from the funny tricks of time**  
**Slipping through my fingers...**

Jake headed to the kitchen to put the ice cream in the freezer, leaving his mother alone in the living room. She was hoping, that her son would let her enter his world. Because for so long he was her's. She felt a tear fall from her right eye, she wiped it away. Smiling, she headed to the kitchen to prepare dinner. Her kids weren't leaving her. Not yet.

_Slipping through my fingers all the time_

_Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning_  
_Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile..._

* * *

_So that's chapter 2. Tell me what did you think?_

_Any suggestions? Songs? _

_I OWN NONE OF THE SONGS USED!_

_ABBA- Slippin Through My Fingers_

_Carrie Underwood- Jesus Take the Wheel_

_The Goo Goo Doll- Iris_


	4. Chapter 3: Hands Touch, Eyes Meet

**Chapter 3: Hands Touch, Eyes Meet.**

* * *

_So this chapter, is a long one. It will look more into Ryder and Jake's pasts, more so Jake. And someone makes an unwanted appearance. _

**_For Songs_**

**Bold- Both**

_Italic- Jake_

* * *

"Jake, you ready for school?" Marley's voice rang out through his phone. It was a Thursday, and after several days of duets, today was the last day. Only Unique and Ryder were left.

"Yeah, I am. See you on the bus okay?" Jake said. Him and Ryder had had a few more conversation. But other than that, they hadn't really talked. Only small talk really. Like, what his favourite colour is or just small stuff like that. At the very least he would be friends with Ryder. He'd take that over nothing.

"Bye mom, love you. See you squirts." Jake said whilst he waved goodbye to his mother and sisters. He adjusted his collar, and took out his razor scooter. As he did he felt his phone vibrate. It was from an unknown number.

**Unknown Number: Hey, does your mother know you are a druggie? xoxo Jae**

Jake panicked as he saw the nickname he had for his...his boyfriend. He had dated Jason for almost six months. And in those six months, he fell hard. Jason was his world for six months. And he was, well; Jake thought he was in love with him. But then he, then his father found out him being gay, and he became different. He changed, not for the better. The crazy part is, he still loved Jason, part of him would always remember the boy who found him in an alley after he had been left by his so-called friends after an argument. He was like an angel, but he turned into a demon.

_On the first page of our story_  
_the future seemed so bright_  
_then this thing turned out so evil_  
_I don't know why I'm still surprised_  
_even angels have their wicked schemes_  
_and you take that to new extremes_  
_but you'll always be my hero_  
_even though you've lost your mind_

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn_  
_but that's all right because I like the way it hurts_  
_just gonna stand there and hear me cry_  
_but that's all right because I love the way you lie_  
_I love the way you lie_  
_Oh, I love the way you lie_

_Now there's gravel in our voices_  
_glass is shattered from the fight_  
_in this tug of war you'll always win_  
_even when I'm right_  
_'cause you feed me fables from your hand_  
_with violent words and empty threats_  
_and it's sick that all these battles_  
_are what keeps me satisfied_

Jake swore he could see a shadow following him, but it was just his imagination.

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn_  
_but that's all right because I like the way it hurts_  
_just gonna stand there and hear me cry_  
_but that's all right because I love the way you lie_  
_I love the way you lie_  
_Oh, I love the way you lie_

* * *

The bus arrived, and he went to school. Jason knew where he was. Jake was terrified. What if Jason told his mother everything. Jake wasn't ready to come out to himself, let alone his parents. His mother would die. He knew she would. Jake promised not more lies.

* * *

"Jake? Jay you okay?" a voice asked behind him, it was his. Ryder's voice, Jake caught his breath. Ryder reminded him so much of how Jason was when they met. The Jason he fell in love with, not how he is now.

"I'm fine Ryder." Jake said.

"Last day of duets. Unique and I are gonna blow y'all out of the water." He bragged. Jake laughed at this.

"As if. Blaine and I clearly won." Jake said.

"Hey Ryder, you." Kitty said to her boyfriend, then sneered at Jake

"Kitty, Jake's cool. Aw, shit I gotta go. Later babe. See ya Jake." Ryder said leaving him alone with Kitty.

"I hope you don't get too comfortable Puckerman." Kitty said.

"What are you talking about Kitty?"

"The fact that you look like you want to jump in my boyfriend's pants all the time."

"Says the girl that looks at Joe Hart like she should be looking at Ryder."

"I don't like you."

"Thats fine. I don't like you."

"Stay away from my boyfriend."

"Why is Ryder even with you? He is the nicest guy around and you are like this mega-bitch from hell."

"What, you think that if he wasn't with me, he'd be with you instead? He's not a fag like you." As soon as she said that she looked like she regretted it. Jake glared at her and just walked away.

"Jake I'm so sorry." Jake turned around, with the same glare as he had on a moment ago.

"So am I, I'm sorry that you are just a judgemental bitch." It was sad because she had just made him realize that maybe he was gay or bi or whatever. It didn't matter. It was always the wrong type of person. His first three girlfriends cheated on him, his first boyfriend was...well he was Jason. Jake just wanted someone to love him, and not hurt him.

Jake walked to English. His teacher, Mr. Blockford, who he called Blockhead was talking about _Romeo and Juliet._

"Mr. Puckerman, would you please read lines..." He said. Jake wasn't listening. He read the lines, Blockhead asked him to read then when the bell rang he left.

* * *

"Ryder are you okay?" Unique asked. Ryder had been weird lately.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." Ryder said. Truth was, he was confused. He like Kitty a lot. She is fun to be around. But for some reason Jake was, is amazing. They didn't really know each other and yet, he felt like he could talk to him about anything.

"Ready to rehearse? Because Unique is. And she does not want to lose to some petit skinny little blond girl who thinks she is better than me, have you heard Unique sing? No offence." Unique said.

"Non taken. I know better than anyone how much of a handful Kitty is." He said. She wasn't as easy to talk to as Jake was. But Ryder wasn't gay, and neither was Jake.

"Why are you with her than? She is horrible, and you're so nice."

"We work. She is popular, and I need her so my dad stays off my back."

"Why do you need him off your back." she asked him.

"Because he is always on me about something. My grades aren't good enough, even though I have worked my ass off, and I have Dyslexia. He doesn't understand. He's got a fucking PhD, and a perfect son, and then there's me." Ryder vented.

"Your dad need to realize what he's got boo. I take he is also not to impressed you're in Glee club?" she asked, if his dad knew he was 'associating' with people like Unique, he would flip his shit.

"No, he associates performing with not being a man. My mom lives in New York, but she is just as conservative. He didn't get why I wanted to join. Neither do I" He answered truthfully.

"Ryder, honey can I ask you something? You don't have to answer me, I just want to know. Do you like Jake?" she asked.

"Of course I do. He's easy to talk too."

"Do you _like him_ like him though?" she asked, and as she expected Ryder looked back at Unique with a look of confusion. Like he had no idea what the fuck he wanted. He had no idea what he wanted.

"Come here." Unique said, holding her arms out, Ryder hugged her. He just wanted to stop being so confused.

* * *

**_He's not a fag like you!_**

Kitty's voice rang in his head. Jake just wanted it to all end. He hated feeling like this, like he was one step away from going over the age. Jason was an asshole. Kitty was a bitch. Everyone in his life has let him down before. He is living in hell, and he was no longer that happy little boy smiling a toothless grin framed in his mothers picture frames. He was so much different than that little boy, he was like a shadow of the boy he was.

_There was a time when men were kind_  
_When their voices were soft_  
_And their words inviting_  
_There was a time when love was blind_  
_And the world was a song_  
_And the song was exciting_  
_There was a time_  
_Then it all went wrong_

_I dreamed a dream in time gone by_  
_When hope was high_  
_And life worth living_  
_I dreamed that love would never die_  
_I dreamed that God would be forgiving_  
_Then I was young and unafraid_  
_And dreams were made and used and wasted_  
_There was no ransom to be paid_  
_No song unsung, no wine untasted_

Jake didnt notice that Ryder was standing by the doors to the auditorium listening to the song he was singing, nor did he notice that the other door was open. A masked figure was staring at him, a evil grin on his face. Ryder's face on the other hand was filled with awe, as he marveled at the other boy's voice and talent.

_But the tigers come at night_  
_With their voices soft as thunder_  
_As they tear your hope apart_  
_And they turn your dream to shame_

_He slept a summer by my side_  
_He filled my days with endless wonder_  
_He took my childhood in his stride_  
_But he was gone when autumn came_

_And still I dream he'll come to me_  
_That we will live the years together_  
_But there are dreams that cannot be_  
_And there are storms we cannot weather_

_I had a dream my life would be_  
_So different from this hell I'm living_

Jake was singing this about Jason, his life was hell. No one would ever know about that part of his life, he would shut it out of his mind.

_So different now from what it seemed_  
_Now life has killed the dream I dreamed._

Jake finished singing the Broadway classic. He heard clapping and a door close shut. Not realizing they were from two different sides of the auditorium.

"Jake that was really good." Ryder said, beaming, Jake gave him a small smile, but his eyes were filled with gratitude. Not watching where he was going, Jake tripped and dropped his books. He scrambled to grab his books when he noticed that Ryder's hand was outreached towards his, when he touched it, he felt sparks fly. He looked at Ryder as they brushed it off.

"I'll see you later right Jake?" Ryder asked him, walking backwards out the auditorium.

"Y-yeah. I'll um, I'll see you in, um, Glee." Jake barely managed to stutter out. Ryder left, Jake just collapsed on the floor and cryed. Music began playing in his head once again.

_Hands touch, eyes meet_  
_Sudden silence, sudden heat_  
_Hearts leap in a giddy whirl_  
_He could be that boy_  
_But I'm not that girl_

Jake realized that Ryder would never be his, that Kitty was right: even if he did break up with her, Ryder would never go for someone like him. Why did this always happen, why did he fall hard for the wrong person? Why did he even bother to dream big? He was nothing, like his father was nothing.

_Don't dream too far_  
_Don't lose sight of who you are_  
_Don't remember that rush of joy_  
_He could be that boy_  
_I'm not that girl_

He began to walk out of the auditorium, the music in his mind still playing.

_Ev'ry so often we long to steal_  
_To the land of what-might-have-been_  
_But that doesn't soften the ache we feel_  
_When reality sets back in_

_Blithe smile, lithe limb_  
_She who's winsome, she wins him_  
_Gold hair with a gentle curl_  
_That's the girl he chose_  
_And Heaven knows_  
_I'm not that girl_

"Hey Jake wait up." Ryder said behind him.

"H-hey, Ryder." Jake said. Ryder noticed Jake was stuttering a bit more than usual.

"So did you meet the new kid?" Ryder asked.

"Theres a new kid?" Jake said, quite puzzled.

"Yeah, Something Gartheson, not sure, but hey ready for glee club?"

"Yeah I-I'll, I'll be right there." Jake said, Ryder patted him on the left shoulder. His heart leaping and his right hand brushing on the same spot when he left.

_Don't wish, don't start_  
_Wishing only wounds the heart_  
_I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl_  
_There's a girl I know_  
_He loves her so_  
_I'm not that girl_

The bell rang and Jake was walking to the choir room when he saw someone in front of the door, staring at him. A hooded face but with a perfect white smile and a long neck, pale white skin and whisks of blonde hair coming out from under the hood.

Jake was walking towards the door, his back turned to the hooded figure.

"Hello Jacob." said the same voice who left him that voicemail when he was working on the duet with Blaine, the same voice who for six months called him worthless, who beat him, who manipulated Jake's feelings for him, the same boy who started as an angel but turned into the devil. He lifted off the black hood and revealed an unnaturally handsome face, pale skin, stormy grey and blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair. His face looked like an angel, but his eyes were dark like the devil's.

It was Jason.

* * *

_What'd ya think. Sorry about the long wait, I hope it was worth it, but im not sure. I am done school for four months so updates should be occuring _

_Shits gonna go down. _

Songs Used:

Love The Way You Lie pt 2 by Rihanna ft Eminem

I Dreamed a Dream from _Les Misérables_

I'm Not that Girl from _Wicked_

**Note, the song originally picked for this chapter was Heaven's Light/Hellfire from_ Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame_ but I switched it with I'm Not That Girl. Should I use Heaven's Light/Hellfire or did i make the right choice to switch? Let me know and comment, favourite, etc.

I will take song suggestions, but only for certain chapters, including chapters 4 and 5.


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